40 tips for a holistic life

40 lessons learned at the age of 40

Take time to truly get to know yourself. It enriches your life and helps you make better choices.
Go deep rather than looking for quick fixes. Aim for real understanding.
Don’t feel responsible for other people’s emotions (unless you are a parent to small children)
Let yourself be bored and do nothing sometimes. It gives your brain a break, fuels your creativity and can give you great insights. To live a holistic life, prioritize boredom and relaxedness
Spend time in silence now and then, without music or conversation. It helps calm your nervous system and check in with yourself
Create a connection with your body. It can tell you a lot about your feelings, and needs. Your body is like a good friend you need to check in with, just to see what’s up.
Pay attention when you have a strong reaction to something.. Your body and emotions often notice things before your mind does. If you feel angry, sad or stressed, it’s a sign that something needs your attention.
Don’t run away from emotional pain. The more you avoid difficult feelings the more they subconsciously run you. It’s better to face your emotions than to let them build up and cause problems.
Know when to cut corners. You can’t give 100 % all the time. As part of a holistic life style, learn when it’s okay to take the easy way out
Don’t force yourself into a structure that doesn’t fit you. Life isn’t a ’one size fits all’ and everyone has their own version of a good and meaningful life.
Learn to speak up on issues that matter to you
Learn what matters to you
Choose your battles. Discern when to fight and when to back down
Be in touch with your sensuality. Smell, touch, move, dance, sing. It improves your quality of life and is an important indicator of what turns you on energetically
Be as honest as possible. To both yourself and to others
Communicate your needs and boundaries
Cultivate warmth and closeness in your relationships
Tend to your blindspots. Midlife is the time to become aware of your weaknesses. Whatever you’ve neglected during the first half of your life is probably causing you some problems by now. Get to know your blindspots so you can better integrate them in your life. Consider using tools like feedback from friends, therapy or personality systems like the Enneagram and Myers Briggs personality type indicator. Whatever tool you use, be focused on personal growth.
Find out what your biggest strengths are and how you can best share them with the world.
Appreciate your individuality and don’t water it down.
Everything in life is energy. Be mindful of where you put yours.
Be passionate, but don’t be fanatic
Take care of your mental and physical health in a holistic way. Mix traditional treatments with alternatives like therapy, massage, yoga, or meditation. Try different things and listen to what your body needs. If you’re unsure, talk to a healthcare professional to find what works best for you. This can help you avoid feeling overwhelmed by all the options.
Prioritize your mental health as much as your physical health. We should actually be able to take a sick day if our mental health needs it. Chances are, stress, grief, anxiety, sadness etc is going to manifest in a physical form eventually anyway
Prioritize your mental and physical health over: your career, money, other people’s opinions and emotions, your social status, and your family’s wishes.
Balance humility and self confidence. Stay connected to your achievements and talents in a healthy way. Don’t constantly brag about your accomplishments, but don’t hide them away either. Be proud of who you are and share yourself with the world in a balanced way.
Avoid black-and-white thinking. Few things in life are black and white, so try to open up to all the nuances of grey. Even the ones you initially thought were dumb, weird, uncomfortable or uninteresting. Explore opinions that seem wrong or odd to you.
Accept and love your scars and wounds, both emotional and physical. They are part of you and deserve your respect and care.
If you realize you’re on the wrong path – go back. No matter how far you’ve come, if it doesn’t feel right, if it’s not working: go back, undo it and start over
Don’t make unnecessary enemies. People you don’t like – avoid them, but also avoid unnecessary drama. Stirring things up is incredibly draining in the long run
Don’t try to rescue people. If they are adults, they must rescue themselves
Be a giver – but a conscious one. Be generous with what you have: time, presence, money, gifts, acts of service, affirmations. But: Don’t give more than you have and don’t deplete yourself.
Avoid gossip, especially if it’s malicious. Practice speaking to the person directly if something is bothering you.
Show your soft side as often as you can
Make space for pleasure in your life. Adulthood can be overwhelming, so never forget to prioritize pleasure and fun. It makes your life more enjoyable and you’ll probably be much nicer to be around
Strive for BALANCE in everything. Nothing is good or bad in itself, what’s good is the balance. Holistic life style is about striving for balance: passiveness vs assertiveness, activity vs rest, action vs contemplation, loud vs still, boldness vs restraint, open vs closed, control vs flexibility. You can find this represented in Taoism and the Yin/Yang balance.
Find your individual balance points. Everyone needs both activity and rest, both control and flexibility, but some need more and others less to feel their best. Find your own personal sweet spots that work for you. To help find your individual balance, do regular self-check-ins. Ask yourself: What activities leave me feeling drained? When do I feel most at peace during my day? Reflecting on these questions can guide you toward your personal balance points.
Prioritize rest. We often focus on productivity, but good quality of life also requires rest. Be as productive as you can handle and prioritize your down time.
Try new things when you feel stuck or bored, or just as a stimulating experience.
Accept that you can’t have it all. Some things are not available to you in this life time, and you have to go without. Find a purpose that is within your means and make the most of it ❤️

Read our review of Gabor Matés book When the body says no about the connection between body and mind and the importance of a holistic life