
40 holistic life lessons learned at the age of 40
- Put in the time and effort to really get to know yourself. It enriches your life and helps you choose wisely to support a holistic life
- Do it in a thorough manner. Seek depth and understanding instead of quick fixes
- Don’t feel responsible for other people’s emotions (unless you are a parent to small children)
- Be bored and inactive regularly. It rests your brain, fuels your creativity and can offer you your best insights. To live a holistic life remember to prioritize boredom and relaxedness
- Be silent regularly. Be without music, conversation or other audible stimulation. Good for balancing the nervous system and for checking in with yourself
- Create a connection with your body. Your body can tell you a lot about your current state of mind, how you really are and what you need. Your body is like a good friend you need to have a conversation with on a regular basis – just to check in and see what’s up.
- Whenever you have a strong reaction to something, take it seriously. Your body and your emotions often know what’s up before the mind does. If something makes you angry, sad or stressed out it’s a clue that something needs to be addressed
- Don’t run away from emotional pain. The more you avoid difficult feelings the more they subconsciously run you. Suppressed emotions cause more harm than emotions you are aware of, so you might as well deal with them.
- Learn when to cut corners. You can’t give your all on every occasion. As part of a holistic life style, learn when it’s okay to take the easy way out
- Don’t force yourself into a structure that doesn’t fit you. Life isn’t a ’one size fits all’ and everyone has their own version of a good and meaningful life.
- Learn to speak up on issues that matter to you
- Learn what matters to you
- Choose your battles. Discern when to fight and when to back down
- Be in touch with your sensuality. Smell, touch, move, dance, sing. It improves your quality of life and is an important indicator of what turns you on energetically
- Be as honest as possible. To both yourself and to others
- Communicate your needs and boundaries
- Cultivate warmth and closeness in your relationships
- Tend to your blindspots. Midlife is the time to become aware of your weaknesses. Whatever you’ve neglected during the first half of your life is probably causing you some problems by now. Get to know your blindspots so you can better integrate them in your life
- Find out what your biggest strengths are and how you can best share them with the world
- Appreciate your individuality and don’t water it down
- Everything in life is energy. Be mindful of where you put yours.
- Be passionate but don’t be fanatic
- Have a holistic approach to your mental and physical health. Combine traditional western treatment with alternative treatment such as healing, psychotherapy, massage therapy, ayurvedic medicin, yoga, meditation or other alternative approaches. A holistic life style means exploring different approaches from time to time
- Prioritize your mental health equally to your physical health. We should actually be able to take a sick day if our mental health needs it. Chances are stress, grief, anxiety, sadness etc is going to manifest in a physical form eventually anyway
- Prioritize your mental and physical health over: your career, money, other people’s opinions and emotions, your social status, your family’s wishes.
- Balance humility and self confidence. Stay connected to your achievements and talents in a healthy way. Don’t constantly brag about your accomplishments, but don’t hide them away either. Be proud of who you are and share yourself with the world in a balanced way
- Avoid black-and-white thinking. Few things in life are black and white, so try to open up to all the nuances of grey. Even the ones you initially thought were dumb, weird, uncomfortable or uninteresting. Explore opinions that seem wrong or odd to you. Broadening your scope of perspectives matures your soul
- Accept and love your scars and wounds, emotional as well as physical ones. They are part of you and deserve your respect and care
- If you realize you’re on the wrong path – go back. No matter how far you’ve come, if it doesn’t feel right, if it’s not working: go back, undo it and start over
- Don’t make unnecessary enemies. People you don’t like – avoid them, but also avoid unnecessary drama. Stirring things up is incredibly draining in the long run
- Don’t try to rescue people. If they are adults they must rescue themselves
- Be a giver – but a conscious one. Be generous towards people whenever you can. Be generous with what you have – time, presence, money, gifts, acts of service, affirmations. But: Don’t give more than you have and don’t deplete yourself
- Avoid gossip, especially if it’s malicious. Practice speaking to the person directly if something is bothering you
- Show your soft side as often as you can
- Make space for pleasure in your life. Adulthood can be overwhelming, so never forget to prioritize pleasure and fun. It makes your life more enjoyable and you’ll probably be much nicer to be around
- Strive for BALANCE in everything. Nothing is good or bad in itself, what’s good is the balance. Holistic life style is about striving for balance: passiveness vs assertiveness, activity vs rest, action vs contemplation, loud vs still, boldness vs restraint, open vs closed, control vs flexibility. You can find this represented in Taoism and the Yin/Yang balance
- Find your individual balance points. Everyone needs both activity and rest, both control and flexibility, but some need more and others less to feel their best. Find your own personal sweet spots that work for you
- Prioritize rest. Modern society tends to value constant productivity and competition, but good quality of life needs down time and relaxation, too. Be as productive as you can handle and prioritize down time
- Try new things when you feel stuck or bored or just as a stimulating experience
- Accept that you can’t have it all. Some things are not available to you in this life time and you have to go without. Find a purpose that is within your means and make the most of it ❤️
Read our review of Gabor Matés book When the body says no about the connection between body and mind and the importance of a holistic life